Dear SBC

Instead of worrying about theological differences that have been with your convention from the get go, you might concern yourselves instead with why your membership rolls are so often vastly larger than your weekly attendances. I mention this because:

1. It makes Christians look no more dedicated than anyone else, despite God’s supposed involvement in their lives.

2. It makes outsiders think “If they fool themselves about this, what are they fooling me about?”

3. It gives the CIA, that bastion of truthfulness and morality, a leg up on the use of “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

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