A New Geeky Acronym and an Apocryphal Book of the Bible

So I’m at work a few days ago and so customers are looking at an mp3 player and discussing it. They decide that it is very functional “Look at all it does!” and looks kool(s?) doing it (kewl?).

Because, as usual, I hadn’t a thought in my head, I immediately flashed upon the idea: New term for good-looking, functional, and cool.

Hmm.

I got it!

“Kung Fu Diva”, aka “KFD” for short.

Those of you woefully unaware of action action cinema are probably not familiar with the term. It’s not terribly different from the Western film’s “action heroine” , basically defined as “pretty woman with really big gun who takes care of business”.  Only the Kung Fu Diva seldom has access to firearms.  Instead she  depends on flying fists and feet and the vast array of Asian martial arts weaponry to take out rows of bad guys and save the day. All the while looking very attractive (of course, this being the movies).

Some may ask why a former comic book geek like myself didn’t choose CBH “Comic Book Heroine” for a metaphor for something decorative and highly functional. Well, that’s because comic book heroines are known for two less than awesome things:

1. Saving the day in ridiculously skimpy clothes.

2. Being able to do things (run, fancy martial arts, gymnastics)  in high heels that must indicate a usually undisclosed superpower or mutant ability.

Most Kung Fu Divas dress pretty modestly, and in any number of Asian action films the mere sight of a heroine bare shoulder is bad news for the guy who sees it. It’s immediate knives and pitchfork wedding time, rather than the American shotgun wedding, but the idea is the same.

Now, since this blog is mostly a biblical blog, you may wonder: Don’t you have a biblical term for such an item: good-looking and gets the job done well?

Yes, but a lot of Protestants are gonna be left out in the cold. The closest character I could come with in biblical terms (No sword-toting butt-kicker girls in scripture that I recall. Sorry, Xena fans) is Judith, the heroine in  the apocryphal/deuterocanonical Bible book of the same name. Judith was a beautiful wealthy widow who undertook to save her city when the Assyrians besieged it. She basically vamped the Assyrian leadership and got the commanding general drunk, which allowed her to cut off his head, and his death allowed the Jews to rout the disorganized, demoralized Assyrian army.

You can read about the Book of Judith here and here. You can read a new translation of Judith in pdf from the NETS table of contents page (Histories 18).

So now knowing this, one might exclaim in admiration “Judith”, or more simply, “J”.

The next time you need an expression for something functional and good-looking, instead of using the hackneyed “cool”, “rad”, “awesome”, or whatever is proper slang this week, opt for something different.

“That’s Kung Fu Diva!”

“That’s KFD”

“That’s so Judith”

This is Goulablogger, from Goula town, where things are FAB. 😉

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3 thoughts on “A New Geeky Acronym and an Apocryphal Book of the Bible

  1. Although I am a Roman Catholic and have no problem with the deutercanonical book of Judith, I could suggest that a still appropriate heroine for a Protestant-canon-limited person would be Jael, from the book of Judges, chapters 4 and 5. Her driving a tent peg through Sisera’s head may not be quite as powerful as Judith’s beheading of Holofernes, but nevertheless is an example of a possible KFD.

  2. Esteban: Good job. Practice makes perfect!

    Edward: I considered Jael, but the text doesn’t make her out to be a paragon of beauty, brains, and ruthlessness like Judith or you average KFD. And Judith was a rich beautiful widow, which makes her intensely interesting to a lot of men. 😉

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